I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
