I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
