i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
