he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
