so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
