We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
