How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
