mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
