Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
All the doctor said was why
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
