oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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