I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
