Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
