im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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