I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The best revenge is premature balding
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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