so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I am available for nakedness
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
