Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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