Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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