I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
