i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
