Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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