dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
