Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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