It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
