if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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