the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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