your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
