all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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