On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
