He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
