Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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