So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
