if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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