What a fucking waste of an outfit
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
