somebody snuck up and got me drunk
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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