Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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