i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
