Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
