You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
