whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
we're making bets on your personal life
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Randomize
