Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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