Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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