It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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