i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
we're making bets on your personal life
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
