I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
