SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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