The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
