have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
