pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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