We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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