You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Well I just put wine in my tea
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
