i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
